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Archive for March, 2009

Something to remember

Another week started.  I am grateful for it, but where is spring?  In the present moment, sure, I am toasty at home but I`m dreaming about going out without a coat and  without boots. Is that too much to ask?  Every day, it seems that the next week will be better than today.  And next week comes around and we are still waiting.  But it`s my own fault, I have to appreciate today, and I do.  When it`s at last warm outside, I won`t be thinking how many days it took , but just enjoying it.

Find joy in everything, be grateful even with cool days.  When I was in my hospital bed, two years ago, I wanted so much to be outside.  And it was worse when spring came.  Life seemed so sweet, looking through the window, and I needed so much to feel it, to be part of the newness of spring.   And now, I can walk; how wonderful it is to walk.  I needed a wheelchair, then a cane and now I can walk.  Sometimes, I don`t think anymore how marvelous that is!  I don`t walk that quickly, every person goes ahead of me, even much older people lol, but   it doesn`t matter.  I can walk, I can go by myself  just enjoying the day, taking my time. Watching the wind in the trees, smelling the fresh air, what a delight!  I don`t need any help to do it;  is it any wonder I  feel so grateful to life.

It is something I have to remember all of my life, the joy of walking.

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Rainy/Snowy Day

Well, it`s a lovely rainy day; I don`t mind rainy days if it means the snow will be melting some more. A good day to stay inside but I just looked and it has started to snow by now. Thank goodness, I have a lot of books to read and I cooked a wonderful supper, with lots of veggies and shrimp and rice, so all is well.

Every day has some redeeming virtues, even it just wants you to stay inside and work on some art or veg out. The bad weather days make the sunny days feel wonderful and even more memorable. So they have their uses too lol.

A LITTLE DAY

A little day, just like the others.
It really looks like any other day.
You take care of things, you run around,
But don`t be fooled, it won`t ever come back.

So love, forgive, and laugh,
This little day will be over soon,
Make it yours, make it stand out,
It is extraordinary because it is yours.

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Live for yourself

I want to live with my eyes wide open. I want to realize how much is given to me and see the miracles  going on around me all the time.

I am grateful for my health, for my family, for the new friends that have come my way. I sense more and more that I do not need much, I am so very happy with today`s sunshine. I will going out in a while and breathe the fresh air, the spring air which is so good for my mood. Sometimes, I have a hard time just staying quiet; I want to breathe deeply, I want to twirl and swing and sing. There were times I did do it lol and I am sure some people thought I was crazy, dancing with my walkman and smiling at everybody. But I am so full of joy sometimes that it has to come out. It is the joy of being alive, of being able to dance, to smell, to see, to hug a tree on the way. I love trees, everyone of them is different, there are small ones, tall ones, weirdly shaped ones, but they are all beautiful.   Nothing is better than being in the shade of a majestic tree and dreaming the afternoon away on a summer`s day.

And I am grateful too that I can draw, I can paint but I really have to realize that it doesn`t matter what other people think of it, I have a hard time with that. I want my paintings to be perfect,  masterpieces, something that would last forever. I am frustrated sometimes about it; but I have to think more about enjoying myself, just let it flow and not worry about what other people think about it. So that is something to work on. I have to feel my love for it and letting it just carry me on and really not worry about anybody else..

The same with writing, just go on with it, and not worry what people think. There will always be people to criticize but so what? I have to live for myself, to enjoy myself because if I stay in a corner, and don`t do anything because somebody is going to say something about it, what kind of life would that be anyway? Yes, you have to be respectful of others, but it works both ways, they have to respect what we like or at least tolerate it lol. I guess I am trying to convince myself.

And I can read too, boy can I read. There will never be enough time for me to read all the books I would love to read. I am a voracious reader and I am proud of it. Sometimes, I have a hard time  going to sleep because a book has me enthralled and I cannot leave it. What a friend a book is, and especially now that I can read French or English, I have a lot more choices, this is another thing I am grateful for. Wow! so many thank yous to the Universe, I am truly loved.

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TGIF at last

Well, here I am. A little busy in the last few days, so I did not get here.

Supper two nights ago was wonderful. Very healthy, but full of flavors, with some almond biscotis at the end. I was glad I went. The place was packed and there was a lot of discussion and laughter. The lady from France was so informative, I wish I could see this part of France someday.

Yesterday was so beautiful, I could not get enough fresh air. I went downtown, bought some books and then went for a chi tea while looking at those books. And came back with no hurry; it was wonderful not to freeze my butt going out. I believe spring has sprung finally, there is still a lot of snow, but it is melting nicely at last. No flooding, just melting bit by bit, you can see the difference every day. Of course, we expect to have a snowstorm (or two) before it is finally over, but we can see the end of another winter. I am so very glad with it, because I really became a slug this year and I felt that I spent my days way too much in front of the computer. It sure didn`t help my weight or my moods. However, it is finally spring, and I intend to go out as much as I can.

I look forward to reading the books I bought yesterday, but I am telling myself I am going to read only after I do some housework here, because I won`t get to it. I can start reading the whole day away if I let myself go lol. And that`s where I am going right now, dress and do some housework. I might come back later, I am hoping to get less boring as time goes by lol. Is it possible? We`ll see.

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Free Supper Tonight

I just went to the bank, pharmacy, etc. It`s still cool, that wind is not good for my ongoing cold. But I am having green tea right now, so that should warm me up.

I am going to a supper tonight given by a lady from Provence, France at the Women`s Center here. I am really looking forward to it. I am supposed to go with my friend, so we`ll eat and talk at the same time. Sometimes these are really good, other times they leave a lot to be desired, so we`ll see tonight. Once in a while, I eat again as soon as I get home lol. As we eat, they have slides on the country that is involved, so tonight we`ll see France. I like it because my brother lives there, not in the same province though.

Spring is taking such a long time coming. And my mother is always at me because I do go out sometimes with my cold, what else can I do? There are things that cannot wait and that I have to do. I have been five and half months in the hospital two years ago with bacterial meningitis, so she`s protective if I am sick. I guess I should be happy to have a mother who worries about me, yes I am grateful. Sometimes, I do get scared myself if a cold lasts too long or is too hard on me.

But I`m thinking health, health, health; all of a sudden, it will be sunny and warm and we won`t think anymore about colds again.

Soon, soon I hope.

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So beautiful outside

But so cold too. But once again, it is sunny and inviting. I will go out this afternoon, shop a little, take in some fresh air and maybe have a walking meditation.

I read a lot of blogs, and I do not know how I could add anything new, anything fresh, anything worthwhile to all of those. But I do not want to compete with any of them.  I learn so much reading some of them, I know I could not add anything more to all the wisdom they give me.   I guess I just want to go my own little way, just say how grateful I am for my life and the people in it and about my own trials in trying to be more compassionate and kind about the world.

Sometimes it is so hard to listen, to be a friend, to know what to say; it is better not to say anything and to know when that would be seems so hard for me.   Jumping to conclusions seems so easy and I have a hard time to be patient and listen to what people have to say. I guess that`s why they say listening is an art, I sure wish I would be better at it.

It is quite a challenge,  isn`t it?

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Sunny day

This is a bright and sunny day but not very warm.   I just baked a cake and soon the smell will hit me, at least hopefully it will.

It was supposed to be a blueberry cake, but oops out of blueberries so now it`s a raspberry cake, let`s hope it`s just as good!

We are going, me and my sister, to her son`s for supper, it will be our first time there.  So I thought I would bring a cake, we are also bringing wine and a salad.  He will only have  to  make supper,  although he supposed to be a good cook.  This will be fun and I want to make a wish once I get there, first time.  His girlfriend is so nice too, it is always a pleasure to see her.

A beautiful Sunday.

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