“Every decision you make indicates what you believe you are worth. A Course in Miracles.’
This might be the only time I might be alone this week. I think it will be one of the hardest week of my life, for all kinds of reasons.
But I want to stay positive, think positive and think that all is well that will end well. I have had a rough time over the weekend but it is not helping me to cry and be depressed. I thought I was going to eat without end, and even though I did not gain that much, I am still all swollen and feeling kind of crummy. Why do I not learn this doesn’t help at all? And makes it even harder. Sometimes I think I should go for a little fast, just to feel empty and start over. It is a possibility.
I will be going away Wednesday to Friday late. I am kind of scared, we’ll be going to some kind of retreat and I am not looking forward to it. If I would be all alone, I would welcome it. But things happen for a reason and I will try to be reasonable. More will be revealed as time goes by. I need all the luck I can have.
I think I am realizing that I’m not worth much these days. And yet, I’ve been trying hard, there has been a lot of work done already, it has been hard but fun too. There is a lot more to be done, but I have to work on the fear that doesn’t leave me. I go three steps, and then go back two. It’s hard work. But you know what, I will get there and sooner than I think!
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